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| Noelle | HBD Sweet Angel! | October 29, 2016 |
Happy Belated Birthday Logan! I am sure you are smiling down on your mommy daddy and siblings!
| Daddy | My Son's 10th Birthday poem <3 | October 26, 2016 |
You would of been ten, we know your kisses are heaven sent. your mother and I remember back when you were first born the immense love we felt but also the sadness of what happened with the cards we were dealt, When you left us I felt like I was emotionally inside an enclosed tent of darkness with no way out, thankful to be blessed with a stout heart I eventually grew stronger and ripped that place apart escaping that dark fate only to try and create happiness again within me and your mothers life us beating all the odds and strife we made it my beautiful wife. We always think of you with love and sentiment, in the beginning it was hard to move on with positive intent. Days were spent thinking of you every moment time was an illusion when dealing with the constant conclusion of your death left me spiritually wreaked being the underdog against evil it seemed one sided, blinded by pain barley holding on to staying sane I was in an endless down pour of emotional rain. only tears filled my blindness as I yelled and screamed in silence. Looking back time almost stood still when you passed as if I was looking through a mask behind a sheet of thin glass enough to think I could break through and move on but strong enough to keep me trapped at the moment so I had to stay patient and postpone it.
With life's toughest trials one can face losing a child, feeling spiritually erased inside nothing but immense darkness to collide against. This left a chip on my shoulder it felt like for a time I was carrying a huge boulder stacked on my back, at times I thought I was going to break I knew laying down would be a spiritual mistake so I kept pressing through until I blew a whole outside the other end of that dark tunnel because I refused to bend. Thinking back I can't believe your mother and I made it through it all, knowing that when you fall you can get back up again and mend, since than time has seemed to of gone by so fast with having your little brother and sister to chase after. My days are filled with lots of love and laughter. Just wish I could hold you physically once more id pick you up high and let you sore with the beautiful sky above the both of us smiling . Id watch you above me as you smiled looking down id fix any frown before lowering you gently to the ground, like a prince with the most beautiful crown. In another life my son will all be together having fun, until than I know your watching from up above with nothing but pure love shining down chasing any darkness from around. I'm grateful and blessed for the life I have and will make the most of every moment with your mother, little brother and sister. This might be the last poem I ever wright personally to you son, who knows but all never forget you or lose site of the important things in life like my children and wife. All the poems I've ever wrote I quote, never took death well and through my writings all let my stories unfold because i'm just an old soul. All let it be told what happened until I fell its the last chapter. Maybe i'm done with the portion of this book in life, or I might take another look one day. Love you always Logan, your father.
With life's toughest trials one can face losing a child, feeling spiritually erased inside nothing but immense darkness to collide against. This left a chip on my shoulder it felt like for a time I was carrying a huge boulder stacked on my back, at times I thought I was going to break I knew laying down would be a spiritual mistake so I kept pressing through until I blew a whole outside the other end of that dark tunnel because I refused to bend. Thinking back I can't believe your mother and I made it through it all, knowing that when you fall you can get back up again and mend, since than time has seemed to of gone by so fast with having your little brother and sister to chase after. My days are filled with lots of love and laughter. Just wish I could hold you physically once more id pick you up high and let you sore with the beautiful sky above the both of us smiling . Id watch you above me as you smiled looking down id fix any frown before lowering you gently to the ground, like a prince with the most beautiful crown. In another life my son will all be together having fun, until than I know your watching from up above with nothing but pure love shining down chasing any darkness from around. I'm grateful and blessed for the life I have and will make the most of every moment with your mother, little brother and sister. This might be the last poem I ever wright personally to you son, who knows but all never forget you or lose site of the important things in life like my children and wife. All the poems I've ever wrote I quote, never took death well and through my writings all let my stories unfold because i'm just an old soul. All let it be told what happened until I fell its the last chapter. Maybe i'm done with the portion of this book in life, or I might take another look one day. Love you always Logan, your father.
| Daddy | For my father the grandfather of my son Logan | April 15, 2016 |
My father went up to Heavn with my son Logan on March 26 around 2am.
Dear Dad when I heard the news of you passing it left me gassping for a breath, an emotional wreak finding it hard to except your death and I still do. With time constantly overlaping I just want to hold on to the last moment we recently spoke, memorizing it always like a special un written note. Who will I ask now for wise fatherly advise when i'm troubled in life, all i can do is think of you and the past and how sometimes we would clash.Looking back I realize you were just trying to raise me into a proper man and now I understand. Always wishing we could of gone fishing and done more father son things together. You always had a tough kind of love and now your watching us from up above. You and Mom did whatever it took to put food on the table and keep our home stable. Even if it ment you going back to work to soon after being deathly sick, that was before I was even born but all never forget Mom telling me about it. I know your up in heaven with Logan my son and you both are always together shining and smiling down on us no matter what the weather. Fighters run in the family and I know you gave it your all to stand tall always. At some point we all must to let go and move on to the next life even if it means physically leaving your beautiful wife, but you will always be near her in spirit so she should never fear. I called your cell phone today to hear your voice it will be my choice when its time to let go no one else's. All never get over losing you Dad, healing is individual not always mutual and felt differently by each person when overcoming there own personal immersion. Knowing your no longer in any pain and left us peacefully is the only thing that calms me some what mentally.
R.I.P Dad your loving son Chad.
Dear Dad when I heard the news of you passing it left me gassping for a breath, an emotional wreak finding it hard to except your death and I still do. With time constantly overlaping I just want to hold on to the last moment we recently spoke, memorizing it always like a special un written note. Who will I ask now for wise fatherly advise when i'm troubled in life, all i can do is think of you and the past and how sometimes we would clash.Looking back I realize you were just trying to raise me into a proper man and now I understand. Always wishing we could of gone fishing and done more father son things together. You always had a tough kind of love and now your watching us from up above. You and Mom did whatever it took to put food on the table and keep our home stable. Even if it ment you going back to work to soon after being deathly sick, that was before I was even born but all never forget Mom telling me about it. I know your up in heaven with Logan my son and you both are always together shining and smiling down on us no matter what the weather. Fighters run in the family and I know you gave it your all to stand tall always. At some point we all must to let go and move on to the next life even if it means physically leaving your beautiful wife, but you will always be near her in spirit so she should never fear. I called your cell phone today to hear your voice it will be my choice when its time to let go no one else's. All never get over losing you Dad, healing is individual not always mutual and felt differently by each person when overcoming there own personal immersion. Knowing your no longer in any pain and left us peacefully is the only thing that calms me some what mentally.
R.I.P Dad your loving son Chad.
| Daddy | Logan's Ninth Birthday poem <3 | October 26, 2015 |
You would of been nine, we still can't seem to leave the past behind. Some days it's still an emotional decline, with your spirit by our side we know we will be just fine. Still can't deny the sadness felt on every anniversary of your birthday, the tremendous amount of emotional decay. At first I felt insane and ashamed, cried and thought a lot deeply. We never forgot the day you passed, still gets me mentally and emotionally gassed .
Remembered nothing firing right in the beginning like an unloaded gun, the horror of losing my first son. Sometimes I was completely numb inside and out trying to escape the darkness, with light totally out of sight. Everyday at first was a total fight and still is. A consuming grip to tight to take a deep breath, a mental and spiritual death that left me and your mother a total wreak. You never get over the loss of a child you learn to deal and reconcile.
After all this time the pain will always be their I know life isn't fair but losing you was too much to bare. How dare death take such an innocent beautiful spirit, all always fear it . There are a lot of good memories of you we will always share, still won't heal the tare in our hearts, it ripped us apart inside and out. I have grown a lot over the years faced a lot of fears together Shannon and I, overcoming so much. Just want to feel your touch, sometimes I think your flowing through us, like a change in season when the leaves start to fall gently calms me sentimentally . Every birthday I think immensely of what you would be doing at that particular age , thinking of it often until the sadness fades as I drift off mentally in the distance without resistance.
Happy Birthday son your loving father. ~Chad St.Clair~
| Daddy | Your little brothers loving thoughts <3 | May 14, 2015 |
Logan when Draven asked me why he couldn't play with you . I just explained that your older brother is kinda like a super hero a chosen guardian , he can fly up high and see so many beautiful things down below . He can watch over and protect you , your little sister mommy and me from bad things. He has the ability to help bring you up when your feeling down and chase away the fears . Hes the wind blowing gentaly pushing you forward while you run and play . Nothing can hurt him and he will never feel pain again or get colds. Your brother is a powerful super hero that is invisible to the naked eye but always their . Draven looked at your pictures and said that's Logan my big borther I love him hes so cute <3 Logan we all love you very much and know your always watching over us .
| Daddy | Happy 8th Birthday Logan <3 | October 26, 2014 |
You would of been eight and there is no debate we all miss you for Gods sake .I think of you blowing out candles from your cake of choice with a favorite character on it. Both sad and happy thoughts come to mind but all never forget . Can just picture your little brother following you around helping him up if he might fall down. The two of you would of been doing everything together a brothers bond last forever even in spirit. ...We know your up in heaven playing with all the other angle children smiling down on us and always near to chase the darkness and fear from out of sight. Our memories of you we hold very tight , trying to never lose sight of the important things in life like spending time with loved ones as much as possible because losing someone so close is colossal .Miss you son , your loving father . Happy 8th Birthday
| Tabitha Okerberg | To know you | August 26, 2014 |
Hi, Logan!
I just met your Mommy not too long ago through a blogging site called Livejournal. She is a very nice gal and she told me a little bit about you and showed me your website. I wish there was a way I could make your parents' pain all better, but there's no words of wisdom I have to do that. You were a very beautiful little guy! I, too, have two children up there, Wolfgang and Brittanney, perhaps you know them? :)
Keep smiling, little man!
Your friend,
Tabitha
I just met your Mommy not too long ago through a blogging site called Livejournal. She is a very nice gal and she told me a little bit about you and showed me your website. I wish there was a way I could make your parents' pain all better, but there's no words of wisdom I have to do that. You were a very beautiful little guy! I, too, have two children up there, Wolfgang and Brittanney, perhaps you know them? :)
Keep smiling, little man!
Your friend,
Tabitha
| Daddy | Thinking of you Logan. | July 16, 2014 |
We all know people who lose a child aren't ever the same and never get over it and are supposed to learn to live with it . For me personally I just never felt like I truly learned to live with it to a point , feel hunted and consumed sometimes even subconsciously when I try to distract myself. Don't care what anyone thinks maybe i'm just to sentimental to take death easily. Can't help but sometimes feel intense anger sadness and self pity from random past thoughts from time to time ,especially because we have no real family support. Thank God we made it this far together Shannon and have two beautiful kids for that I truly do feel blessed and grateful. R.I.P Logan our little Lion Heart <3
| Daddy | Happy seventh Birthday Logan | October 26, 2013 |
Logan our son you would of been seven and your sharing it with us from heaven . Knowing your watching over us keeps my head up when things in life try to bring it down , when i show a frown i look to the sky and you make me feel as though i can fly soaring over anything standing in my way keeps my mind at bay. You help give us strength when we feel weak and at the peak of collapse you help lift our spirits. We are fighters , runs in our blood its apart of our family when we fall we always get back up unbreakable stronger than iron we never stop trying . Your always there watching over us with love from up above knowing this feeling your gentle kiss in the wind as i stare into the distance i feel comfort with little resistance. Spirits never die your always alive in our hearts forever , Happy Birth Day Logan " Our little Lion Heart "
Sincerely your loving Father.
Sincerely your loving Father.
| Daddy | Just thinking about you Logan , father son poem | July 25, 2013 |
Logan Mommy and Daddy miss you so much as from up above is how your keeping in touch. The first couple of years felt long and sad not seeing your face. Knowing your spirit is with us no matter the place brings a smile to our face in that case. As a father my mind always wanders and ponders what you would be doing right now and look like at your age. Wish you were sitting by my side so i could read a book of your choice , just to hear your voice. Things we take for granted in life and how short it can be really opened my eyes and made it easier to see.
Think about you all the time , it makes me sad still to this day when i think of you only being with us in spirit and not physically it takes all my ability to not be so sad sometimes.
We love you forever son , sincerely your loving father <3
Think about you all the time , it makes me sad still to this day when i think of you only being with us in spirit and not physically it takes all my ability to not be so sad sometimes.
We love you forever son , sincerely your loving father <3
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