Logan Wolverine St.Clair

Logan I can't believe how much time has passed the pain of what happened is everlasting, clashing with anything but painful memories of your passing in our arms that day. Your mother and I begging for more moments with you as time seemed to stand still for us. This topic will always be the hardest to discuss, It's been said that time heals all wounds but that's far from the truth especially when the root of the pain was having to burry an innocent child there will never be a way to reconcile what happened. There is no denying that what happened to this day brings a grown man to tears. I have no fear of what others think losing you pushed me and your mother to the brink of insanity I just wish there was a remedy for the pain as I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I sometimes think of all the things you would be doing right now would I be teaching you how to drive late at night in town. Would you create something astonishing for me and your mother to admire, what interest and desires would you have had all those hopes turn to darkness in my mind eventually, all the lost potential but I realize it's essential to try and embrace all the adventures you're experiencing now that helps me to not drown in the pain but to try and sustain what's right in front of me with two beautiful children that I have been blessed with in life and my wife to share this with, to appricate what I have helps contain all this strife. Happy 17th Birthday son your loving Father. 

Dear son it's been so many years since I held you so close and dear anytime a thunderstorm woke you up in fear, once a year I still to this day have to fight back the tears. You would've been sixteen today even though your Mother and I are to keen your presence is felt but never seen. It's been such a long time your still often on my mind especially today, sometimes I can't help but dwell on the pain I'd rather feel something than be numb and insane. Catatonic I'm truly astonished your mother and I made it this far, whenever I look up into the nights sky I imagine your the brightest star. Cherished for the time we had with you Logan hope where ever you are your having a blast I just ask for you to try to fill just one task fly down and give your mother a kiss on the cheek tonight while she sleeps. Happy Birthday son always you're loving Father.

Logan it's hard to beleive you would of been fithteen even though you can't be seen your presence is somtimes felt. Me and your mother can't change what happened and the hands we were delt but we just try to deal with the pain that can be felt. We have been told by some to move on or get over your death I say fuck them the ones that have never walked a day in our shoes they have no clue to say something like that, losing a child is a devistating fact that you don't just recover from. No one should ever have to watch a small coffin being lowered into the ground. That day your mother and I was mentally no warew to be found with our spirits both borken we were numb insnaity had won at the moment. We all know Life can be a tough bitch that will kick you when your down leaving you burried under a mound but it underestmiated your mother and I we are both fighters that will go out swinging getting back up asking is that all your got. It's survial of the fititss as your mother and I now thrive with two beautiful kids to fullfill our lives. You will never be forgotten Logan, my son, by anyone. Happy Birthday!

Logan it's hard to believe you would of been 13 teen today, your mother and I are all too keen of the real horror of what happened the last time we got to hold your hand, sending a grown man to his knees. No matter how many years have passed the memories of the events still make me gasp, the feeling of suffocation and the manipulation of anything around me being logical, the numbing loss of reality from such a fatality. Since that day its hard to keep my emotions at bay especially on the anniversary of your birthday there will never be a delay in the darkness that overcomes parents that go through the horror of losing a child, even know everyone's life has been dialed since day one, still it's out of the natural order of things for anyone to lose a son. When I think of the tragedy that me and your mother went through there was no strategy for getting over something so traumatic, as a matter of fact anyone telling someone to move on should try stepping into those shoes for even a moment because there would be no postpone to the thoughts of not wanting to exists without your child in your life and as wild as that might seem to some trying to overcome the loss of your soul and heart being severed, ripped right out of your chest, the only thoughts of wanting to be with them in an internal rest. Love you Logan, happy Birthday son. You made me a much stronger person than I ever could of imagined being, for that no matter how much the pain your death caused it will never be in vain.

You would of been 12 this year every anniversary has its moments but there's no postponing the thoughts of what we went through so long ago. your mother and I were new parents and very young and your death put us through the wringer that still to this day the sadness sometimes lingers. We try to avoid the thoughts of what you went through out fear of the insanity it once brought and still can and the life of our first child we fought to save but still lost. Instead we try to only cherish the memories we hold dear, one that's so clear that all never forget was the first time you said dada as are hearts collapsed with joy or the memory of your first most cherished toy the blue puppy that played music when you stretched him out, you held him so tight when you would pout.I have learned to just go with the flow when dealing with your loss and not fight my feelings of expression as holding back seems to just cause more compression, with this confession i'm not afraid to express that as a father losing your son will bring any man to his knees with eyes full of tears. What happened was out of my control protecting the child is the father's role and your death really broke me inside, appart of me died that day with you but I never knew I would have the strength to carry on in life even through all the strife asking why did you have to go. Fighters run in the family and I would of done anything to stop you from leaving me even if it meant fighting death himself like I have mentioned before with me and him fighting in the darkness trying to punch a hole through his ancient skull as we continue rolling through limbo until he lets go of you. that's just not reality though I just wish I could hold you one more time but i'm too selfish and I couldn't let go of the flow of you returning, it would take all of God's angels to loosen my grip ripping the fabric of time if I had to thinking I could possibly bring you back with me awakening only to realize all this was just a nightmare and none of it ever happened in the first place, sometimes I wish that was the case. What comforts me is that I know your watching over and keeping us safe no matter the place. Happy 12th Birthday Logan love you forever, always watch over me mommy and your little brother and sister. ~ Chad St.Clair

It's been eleven years since death took you son life had barely begun losing you right before your first birthday left us all frayed. All kinds of torment went through my mind at the moment with death not that far behind being the ultimate opponent. Knowing nothing could postpone I did everything to charish the moment. Fighters run in family I would of punched death himself through his acient fucking skull if I could of rolling in the darkness until he let go so you wouldn't be taken away that day. But I felt helpless instead near your hospital bed. How can anyone fight death to death though losing you left me a train wreck. We all at sometime think about what's really after death and where our soul will be kept will there truly be something or nothing is heaven just bluffing. Either way I'm often wondering where you are some place immersed in the universe. Are you a beautiful burst of stars going far into the distance from my view giving me clue that everything is fine and not to let my mind decline with sadness. To try and embrace this gental blissed mystical kiss as you go by in the sky hoping it's not a long goodbye. Can't lie still to this day sometimes I cry though resisting just going with the flow when thinking of you son. You endured more than what most men go through in a lifetime in such a short period our brave little guy. Always our little lion 

It's been eleven years since death took you son, life had barely begun losing you right before your first birthday left us all frayed. All kinds of torment went through my mind at that moment with death not that far behind being the ultimate opponent, knowing nothing could postpone it I did everything to cherish the moment. fighters run in the family, I would of punched death himself through his acient fucking skull if I could of rolling through the darkness until he let go so you wouldn't be taken away that day but I felt helpless instead near your bed in the hospital. How can anyone fight death to the death though, losing you left me a train wreck. We all at sometime think about what's really after death and where our soul will be kept, will there truly be something or nothing, or is heaven just bluffing. Either way i'm often wondering where you are some place immersed in the universe, are you a beautiful burst of stars going far into the distance from my viewe giving me clue that everything is fine and to not let my mind decline with sadness, too try and embrasse this gentle blissed mystical kiss as you go by in the sky hoping it's not a long goodbye. Can't lie Still to this day sometimes I cry though resisting just going with the flow when thinking of you son. You endured more than what most men go through in a lifetime in such a short period of time our brave little guy. Rest in peace Logan and God bless you, always our little Lion Heart. Happy 11th Birthday

Oct/26/2006 to Oct/10/2006

❤ ~Chad St. Clair~

Just wanted to share this on with you Logan on your memorial page. We love and miss you.


I remember when we first started dating, there was no debating I truly loved you and still do. I Wanted you to be my wife, with us spending the rest of our lives together. No mater what the weather we would see it through side by side like Bonnie and Clyde. A gift that's more than life long, even when were gone will be soulmates ever lasting. There is no masking I would rescue you from any sort of darkness with remarkableness, in the end id calm you with a gentle kiss and hold you tight. Even know we get into fights on who's right, I never want us to forget or lose sight of our love for one another and everything we strongly stood through together. Sometimes like a feather that has fallen from a strong wings our love will glide slowly and calmly and at other times it will be pushed much too strongly, but in the end we will make it safely wherever we choose on going in this spiritual life with the breeze flowing.

Happy Belated Birthday Logan! I am sure you are smiling down on your mommy daddy and siblings!